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delusions
January 2009 
Lars and the Real Girl
Posted on Jun 13th, 2008
by 
Allison
Allison
I recently saw the movie Lars and the Real Girl. It has jumped to the top of my favorite movie lists as a result. It so perfectly matched some experiences I have been having. I wanted to share the film with others as i am just not able to get it out of my mind.
Here's the trailer
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (official trailer)
So basically it is the story of Lars (played by Ryan Gosling), who orders a life-size sex doll online and when she comes he "believes" she is real and that she is his girlfriend, Bianca.
Lars' brother and sister-in-law go to see a therapist and the therapist says that Lars has a delusion. When they ask how long it will last, the therapist tells them, "until he doesn't need it anymore."
That one line stayed with me from the moment i first saw the trailer, and is played out beautifully in this film, but i will come back to that point in a minute.
The other striking part to me was watching the transformation in Lars as a result of his delusion. Lars goes from being a shy, socially inept person, to being happy, social, and taking the first steps towards really participating in life.
Personally, I am just overwhelmed with the number of delusions i have in my life. Delusions about my past, delusions about my future, delusions about who i am, and who i am not. I am constantly living in a world of my own creation--sometimes good and sometimes bad. And i am not taking about the whole placing an intention, creating your own reality sort of idea. I am straight up saying, my experience is based on my view of the world, my perspective and my experience of myself.
I guess one could ask what is the difference between a delusion and a simple thought, idea or fact. On the one had it could be seen as fact that i am 26 years old, single, female, no children, brown hair (ok i color it so that has got to add to the delusion), greenish eyes, fair skin, weight 110 pounds etc.
But is that really fact? Is that really all i am?
Back to the movie, this fabulous film left me with acceptance and awareness of my delusions--both the ways i limit the experience of who "I am" to the form of the descriptive "facts" i listed above (the truly big question of who is "I am" in what is sometimes described as the spiritual sense), as well as in the relative sense of the stories allison creates to cope with her own relative life.
As I witnessed in Lars, sometimes our delusions are just what we need to cope or deal with life. So much can be expressed or played out through our delusions in that sense our delusions are very real. They serve a purpose and they are a crucial component to life. We don't need to place judgment on them. And it is okay to be crazy.
When this particular form of "crazy" stops serving us, we will move on, we will let the delusion die. Maybe sometimes the answer is so dive so deeply into our delusions that we come out on the other side.
I wonder if they make those dolls in male form? Nah, I guess for now I should just stick to my own particular delusions...
Access: Public
Allison, I saw Lars and the Real Girl when it came out in the movies. I don’t remember when I have seen a movie with more heart and love expressed. Yes, Lars had a delusion, but the entire community supported him in this delusion, because they loved him. I was blown away. I had no idea what I going to see in the movies, I just felt like seeing a movie and this one was playing (I live in a very cool small town).
I don’t believe I thought about the film in terms of my delusions. It is worth looking at from that perspective: are there delusions I am harboring because I need them? I need the crutch, or to feel special, or to hide behind? So thanks for the opportunity to do more sacred house cleaning by examining myself, checking for delusions that may serve or not.