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autobiography in five short chapters
January 2009 
Falling in...
Posted on May 27th, 2008
by 
Allison
Allison
Thanks to Ian for sharing this great piece with me.
by Portia Nelson
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.
I seem to find myself stuck in about chapter 3 right now....
Do you ever find yourself oscillating so quickly between perspectives that you think you just might be insane? I think i am insane today.
I see the hole, I fall in, I feel hurt, I feel angry, I feel frustrated with myself, I mean, I saw the hole! And then I feel compassion and understanding, and I pull myself out of the hole. It was just a hole... I am not really that hurt, I can try again...
And then walking down the street and here i am again with my hole.
The constant struggle between awareness and real lasting change. Throw in some seeking mind, a heap of perfectionism, and a incessant desire for personal growth and transformation, and you seem to wind up with insanity.
I think i may have just found a much larger hole...
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