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Falling in...

Posted on May 27th, 2008 by Allison : Dreamweaver Allison
Thanks to Ian for sharing this great piece with me.  

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I fall in.

I am lost...I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

 

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I'm in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes time to get out.

 

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I see it is there.

I still fall in...it's a habit

My eyes are open

I know where I am

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

 

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I walk around it.

 

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.



I seem to find myself stuck in about chapter 3 right now....

Do you ever find yourself oscillating so quickly between perspectives that you think you just might be insane?  I think i am insane today.

I see the hole, I fall in, I feel hurt, I feel angry, I feel frustrated with myself, I mean, I saw the hole! And then I feel compassion and understanding, and I pull myself out of the hole. It was just a hole... I am not really that hurt, I can try again...

And then walking down the street and here i am again with my hole.

The constant struggle between awareness and real lasting change.  Throw in some seeking mind, a heap of perfectionism, and a incessant desire for personal growth and transformation, and you seem to wind up with insanity.

I think i may have just found a much larger hole...
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