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Falling in...

Posted on May 27th, 2008 by Allison : Dreamweaver Allison
Thanks to Ian for sharing this great piece with me.  

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I fall in.

I am lost...I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

 

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I'm in the same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes time to get out.

 

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I see it is there.

I still fall in...it's a habit

My eyes are open

I know where I am

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

 

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk

I walk around it.

 

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.



I seem to find myself stuck in about chapter 3 right now....

Do you ever find yourself oscillating so quickly between perspectives that you think you just might be insane?  I think i am insane today.

I see the hole, I fall in, I feel hurt, I feel angry, I feel frustrated with myself, I mean, I saw the hole! And then I feel compassion and understanding, and I pull myself out of the hole. It was just a hole... I am not really that hurt, I can try again...

And then walking down the street and here i am again with my hole.

The constant struggle between awareness and real lasting change.  Throw in some seeking mind, a heap of perfectionism, and a incessant desire for personal growth and transformation, and you seem to wind up with insanity.

I think i may have just found a much larger hole...
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Tagged with: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, Portia Nelson, change, transformation, personal growth, awareness

So I live by a bike shop...

Posted on May 31st, 2008 by Allison : Dreamweaver Allison
I have the great privilege of living across the street from a locally-owned bike shop.  It is called Rock and Road. Now most people wouldn't think this would really be the selling point of a great apartment, but it remains truly one of my favorite features.

When was the last time you rode a new bike, or took a new bike for a test ride?  I think i could spend close to eternity watching people test drive bikes.  There is this fabulous child-like quality about the experience.  Almost as if they are on a bike for the first time, and it is all so new and special for them.  And they are riding with such attention to detail, such focus and mindfulness.  Little do they know that they will rarely ride the bike that way again, except for maybe if they think something is wrong with the bike.

Why do we do that?  Be it our bicycles, ourselves, our relationships, we often only give such undivided, mindful attention to something when it is brand new or broken. The experience of awe and wonder though is always available to us.

I am reminded of that wonder each time i see one of these cyclists, test out a new bike.  Don't get me wrong, they are often wearing a sorta ridiculous helmet and many times dressed still in work clothes and don't seem quite attired for their, i can only assume to be spontaneous, bike outing, which has often caused me to chuckle.  But all the more isn't that indicative of life?  We aren't always perfectly equipped or prepared for our situations, but when handled with attention, mindfulness, and a little curiosity, life comes alive.

Go test drive a bike today, or at least wonder past a bike shop and observe others, you'll be glad you did!
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Tagged with: bike shop, wonder, mystery, mindfulness, awareness, awe, joy